I have been thinking a lot about the story of Snow White lately. Probably because I have been going to the gym more where there are mirrors everywhere, and it seems impossible to escape my reflection there. I also spend much of my days driving around in the minivan and keeping an eye on my kids in the rearview mirror. Mirrors are interesting to ponder. They are very useful for giving us a good perspective of things we would not have normally been able to see otherwise, but they can also be deceiving. For example, I have one mirror on my car that has printed on the bottom of it, “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear”. There are also whole hallways of funny mirrors in Fun Houses where the reflection is distorted to make the person gazing into it see themselves as taller, fatter, shorter, or wrinkled. When I have looked into those mirrors, I expect to see a distorted reflection, and I respond accordingly- usually with much laughter. It’s the weirdest thing, though. I have found that sometimes when I look into my mirror over the bathroom sink it seems to give me mixed results. Sometimes it seems to give an accurate reflection, but other times it somehow seems very distorted. Why is that? It’s not that there is something wrong with my mirror. It’s that there is something wrong with my perception of my reflection.
One of my greatest struggles has always been with insecurity. On and off, I have had times where I felt completely crippled by my insecurities. And just when I finally start getting over one insecurity, it seems like it doesn’t take long before some other insecurity takes its place. At different times or even sometimes all at the same time I am insecure about my body image, my parenting, my relationships, my education, my personality, my background, or my spiritual life. The list could go on and on. I even find that as I write this, I am insecure about my insecurities! HA! #funnynotfunny
The more I have shared about this issue, though, the more I find that I am not alone in it. I mean, don’t all humans struggle with insecurity to some degree? We are constantly bombarded by the world around us to look, act, or feel a certain way. We feel pressure from just about everywhere to perform or to fit into certain stereotypes or molds in order to be considered successful or accepted. And those molds are ever changing making it impossible to keep up. Sadly, many of these pressures we feel so heavily aren’t just a bunch of unrealistic expectations society puts on us, but they are ones we place on ourselves.
We spend countless hours obsessing over social media sites, Pinterest, television shows, magazines, ect… But why? It’s not just about finding out what society thinks is normal or popular. For many of us, it is a form of escapism. Escape from the insecurities plaguing us from the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves or feel from social circles around us. Escape from our realities that are maybe not what we expected or maybe what we deem as not good enough. We subconsciously seek to escape from our insecurities even if it’s just for a little while.
Social media is also is a great way for us to compare our lives to others’ with the hope of finding some semblance of security. It gives us a way to either make ourselves “feel better” or “justified” about the way we live by thinking down of others, or for us to find the next best thing to make us better or to somehow attain the next level of security. It’s the fairy tale magic mirror come to life that we somehow have been fooled into believing as the truth when we ask, “Mirror mirror on my iPhone, who is the fairest/most athletic/richest/smartest (you fill in the blank) of them all?” And somehow don’t we secretly hope that the answer is us? And when we inevitably see that we are in fact not the _____-est in all the land, we feel the shackles of insecurity get even tighter on our wrists and the restlessness of discontentment writhe inside. We become more and more blinded by the lies we fill our minds with about what we should be and should have instead of focusing on who we are and thanking God for what we already have.
We put immense pressure on ourselves to live up to these impossible standards, setting ourselves up for major disappointment when we inevitably fail or fall short time and time again. We end up carrying a basement-full of insecurity baggage with us in the back of our minds everywhere we go, and it affects everything: our mental and physical health, our relationships, our bank accounts, and our every decision. That insecurity can weigh us down so heavily sometimes with doubt, stress, and fear that it’s no wonder it feels like it is all we can do to just put one foot in front of the other to keep moving.
Now, don’t get me wrong. We have a God-given desire to belong and to excel at something. There is such a thing as healthy competition and inspiration. I also think that healthy goal setting and working towards being good stewards of our bodies and environments around us is commendable. It’s completely natural to try to see how we measure up, but the danger is when we let that comparison turn into self-hatred and condemnation. It’s unhealthy to hate or belittle the good gifts and uniqueness that God has created in each of us, and it’s unhealthy to set up impossible standards for ourselves.
The example I could most readily use of this is pretty silly, but I think it will help me clarify. I have always wanted thin, long legs. Always. I struggle to want to wear shorts in the summer when it’s 100 degrees out because I feel so self-conscious of my big thighs. Somewhere around my late 20’s I had the epiphany that God did not give me the body type for lean legs,and that is okay. I have a longer torso and shorter legs, so my legs naturally carry more weight and muscle. I used to (and honestly sometimes still do) look at pictures on pinterest or see friends with long lean beautiful legs, and I would condemn myself for not being skinnier or looking like that. It was and is so unhealthy to do that. The healthy response I’ve learned over time that helps with this insecurity is to remind myself to work towards stronger and toned legs. If they truly can’t be skinny chicken legs, then they might as well be strong and defined. Right? Ha, ha! It sounds stupid, but that perspective has helped me overcome one of my silliest insecurities. It helped me find a healthy and realistic goal to reach instead of an impossible one. I have also had to learn to stop my negative thinking and jealousy when I see skinny legs,and have had to learn to practice some self-control to stop obsessing over images that I can never attain. Romans 12:2 is a verse that really convicted me of this. It says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
If you are a someone like me who struggles with insecurity, then I would encourage you to do the same. Seriously assess and question what you spend your free time doing and filter the images you obsess over.
If you find that your true motivation is negatively impacting your mental, physical, spiritual, or emotional health whether by escaping, judging others, or condemning yourself, then I would encourage you to take a break from those things for a couple days and see if it helps you. Pray that God would reveal to you areas where you need to have a renewed mind and see what is good and acceptable instead to focus your attention on. Believe me, it’s hard. It’s hard to practice self-control, and it’s hard to stop myself from wanting to escape and be distracted. It’s hard to fix my eyes on the things that aren’t of this world or of my flesh. As a result I’m learning (very slowly, mind you), that new outfits are only a temporary fix for self-consciousness and discontentedness. Zoning out in front of the television or my phone only puts off the inevitable realities I am trying to escape. Judging others with the intent of belittling them to make myself feel better never lasts and only estranges me. And obsessing over all the things I need to fix in myself and in my home or in my family never ends up being productive or beneficial in the long run. In fact, it only digs my hole of insecurity even deeper. And God wants so much more for me than that, and He wants so much more for you too.
Such a light and cheery blog today, huh? Well, stick with me. I am not ending here. In fact, today I want to remind us all of the HOPE there is in Christ to overcome our insecurities, and the guarantee that we can be and are more than conquerors in the challenges we face. Satan loves to use insecurity to distort our reflections every morning to keep us self-focused instead of lifting our eyes to God and His Kingdom around us. Insecurity is crippling, and God wants to help us overcome it. One of the verses that challenges me to battle my insecurities and encourages me to confess my struggle with it is found in Revelation 12:11-“And they have overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” When I looked up the words overcame, overcome, and conquer I found some great definitions and was inspired. I decided to make an acronym with the word “overcomer” to help define it.
OVERCOMER: Opposition
Vanquished,
Everything
Restored,
Conquered
Obstacles:
My
Eternity
Redeemed
We can be overcomers over all manner of challenges, but how? Think about those insecurities that plague your mind and your heart and fill in the blank below for yourself.
“And they overcame __________ by the BLOOD OF THE LAMB
What is the blood of the Lamb? It is the blood of Jesus that was poured out for us as a perfect sacrifice for the payment of our sins, that we could never have paid on our own, and that bought us eternal life. Ephesians 2:11-13 says it so beautifully, “Therefore remember that at one time you Gentiles in the flesh, called ‘the uncircumcision’ which is made in the flesh by hands- remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.”
Isn’t that such an encouraging verse? We are set free because of the blood of Christ!From what? SIN and DEATH. From our insecurity that separates us from the life God has planned for us and from the hopelessness that insecurity can give us.We are overcomers not only by the blood of the lamb but the verse continues.And they overcame him(satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. There we have it: the nail in the coffin for that roaring lion- Satan the stealer, killer, and destroyer. Jesus’s blood already puts him in the coffin, but we get to pound a nail in that coffin that seals him out of our lives forever through the word of our testimonies. Check out Romans 8:31-39:
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died–more than that, who was raised–who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Has God ever healed you when you were sick? Has he ever provided for you when you had nothing? Has he ever comforted you when you had no one to turn to? Has he ever made your heart full of joy or peace when there was no other explanation? Then share your story with someone else. That sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Very similar to the steps recovery in AA. Vocally admitting you have a problem (confession), and then working towards getting past it to change (repentance). Then mentoring and encouraging others going through the same thing.
Let’s take some steps to recovering from our insecurity and our struggles here on earth by seeking the Lord and studying His Word. Memorizing verses like the one’s I’ve included in this blog to help train our brains to fight negative thinking and craving distraction. Let’s look in the mirror and remind ourselves that we can have true God-given, Christ-paid-for, Holy-Spirit-transforming confidence and freedom from our insecurities. Look in the mirror each day and ask the Lord to reveal anything in you that needs to be surrendered to Him, but also ask Him to help you overcome your insecurities. He will help you overcome your insecurity, and see a clearer reflection in that mirror. Then testify of His great and awesome work in you. After all, Jesus overcame and by His grace, so can we. So can we!
2 Corinthians 3:17-18 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
Oh my goodness, I love those verses. That is the process of sanctification- where we are being transformed by the Spirit of the Lord more and more to reflect the glory of God. In other words, by God’s grace, we look in the mirror and see ourselves growing to be more like Jesus- little by little more.
Amen.
As I end, let me share this song with you, that has been such an encouragement in times of great insecurity.
And here are some awesome verses to memorize or keep handy. Blessings, friend.
Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Revelation 12:11 “And they have overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.”
2 Corinthians 3:17-18 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
Romans 8:38
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 16:20
“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.”
1 John 5:4
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world- our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?”
1 John 4:4
“Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”
John 16:33
“I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have trials. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
I John 2: 15-17 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone does the world, the love of the Father is not in him.For all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life- is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”
It’s long, but so incredible: Read Romans 8
Romans 8
1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died–more than that, who was raised–who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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